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Yes, My Icon Is Used For Irony
Apr. 23rd, 2008 12:03 amI feel like I should say something about this god awful thing. But so many people have summed up my feelings so much better than I ever could.
I'll just say that I can't understand why anyone would look at that and not see the problems. Not see how it objectifies and degrades women. How in the world can breaking down a woman to nothing but her breasts be anything but?
I will, however, focus on one bit that particularly infuriates me. (The whole thing pisses me off, but again, others have said it better.)
"...a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display..."
No. Revealing costume =/= ZOMG LOOK AT MY TITS!
I'm sorry, but it doesn't. While there are indeed women who will wear revealing outfits for the attention, because they feel they need the validation - and that's another issue altogether - but that is not every woman. And again, those that do, a whole other issue and that still gives no one the right to ogle or objectify them. This smacks of 'she was dressed slutty, so she deserved it'.
There are a multitude of reasons a woman may wear a revealing costume. Both my Lust costumes are revealing. I didn't choose them because they're revealing. I chose them because I love the character, feel a connection with the character, and want to live out that connection through cosplay and display my love of the character through cosplay. I'm aware it's revealing. And I may joke about that with my friends, but it's not the main reason behind the cosplay.
Do people assume I'm wearing it just for attention? I'm sure some people do. Is that okay? No. Is there anything I can do about it? Not really. And again, that goes back to that other issue that I don't feel like touching on now. Anyway, yes, I have worn a couple of skimpy costumes.
Do I get comments? Hell yes. Ranging from perfectly polite to skeevy. I've had guys say 'I love your costume' or 'you look great' and meaning it, and I've had guys say much less savory things. I've had men ask to touch me - ranging from simple 'can I have a hug' to 'can I grope you?'. I've had men ask for kisses*. I've had men ask me for 'a private show'. Hell, I have a signed piece of art from an American mangaka that says (and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nijawial, strych9chaitea, chocomimi and I believe jade_pen) can all attest to this: 'to the girl with the great tits'. Which yes, I find amusing on a level because she was so very sweet when we were speaking, but it still makes a very strong point. It's not even signed to my name, it's signed to my breasts.
With the classic black dress, it got so bad I won't wear it anymore. I still wear the green because it has a nice shawl I can wrap around myself when not posing for pictures. And yes, I know there are some people who will think 'well, you have to expect it...'
Yes. I know it's to be expected. That doesn't make it right, and that doesn't make it okay. Sure, I love my body. I love my boobs when they're not hurting my back or getting in the way. And sure, I love getting compliments. Non-sexual ones - unless jokingly among friends, because I know where my friends are coming from. But that doesn't mean I love being objectified. Or that I should just sit down and shut up about it because I happened to wear something that showed cleavage.
I'm a hell of a lot more than a set of boobs.
And it is possible to compliment a woman in a perfectly non-sexual way. I remember last time I was down in Phoenix, we stopped off at Atomic Comics. I was in Lolita - my pirate print skirt and scoop ruffle blouse. And there was a guy around my age, in a suit and brief case, who had been looking at me while I was in there. He finally approached me and said, looking straight at my face and with nothing but sincere politeness 'I really like your outfit, it's very pretty'. He thought I was in cosplay, and I corrected him, and he apologized and repeated 'it's still very pretty'. And that was that. Despite obvious interest (as evidenced by him bringing his hand to his face and muttering 'man I really blew that' as I walked away) he still managed to be a perfect gentleman.
So I don't want to hear 'well it's impossible to compliment a woman without there being sexual/sexist connotations!'. That's bullshit. And it doesn't matter how the hell a woman is dressed.
I rambled a lot. And I don't even know if I made sense. I'm not good with words like this. Stories yes, essays no. I just...
Whatever happened to the old adage 'look but don't touch'?
________________________________
*I have kissed people at cons. But not random strangers. And certainly not random men who have been ogling my lady lumps.
I'll just say that I can't understand why anyone would look at that and not see the problems. Not see how it objectifies and degrades women. How in the world can breaking down a woman to nothing but her breasts be anything but?
I will, however, focus on one bit that particularly infuriates me. (The whole thing pisses me off, but again, others have said it better.)
"...a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display..."
No. Revealing costume =/= ZOMG LOOK AT MY TITS!
I'm sorry, but it doesn't. While there are indeed women who will wear revealing outfits for the attention, because they feel they need the validation - and that's another issue altogether - but that is not every woman. And again, those that do, a whole other issue and that still gives no one the right to ogle or objectify them. This smacks of 'she was dressed slutty, so she deserved it'.
There are a multitude of reasons a woman may wear a revealing costume. Both my Lust costumes are revealing. I didn't choose them because they're revealing. I chose them because I love the character, feel a connection with the character, and want to live out that connection through cosplay and display my love of the character through cosplay. I'm aware it's revealing. And I may joke about that with my friends, but it's not the main reason behind the cosplay.
Do people assume I'm wearing it just for attention? I'm sure some people do. Is that okay? No. Is there anything I can do about it? Not really. And again, that goes back to that other issue that I don't feel like touching on now. Anyway, yes, I have worn a couple of skimpy costumes.
Do I get comments? Hell yes. Ranging from perfectly polite to skeevy. I've had guys say 'I love your costume' or 'you look great' and meaning it, and I've had guys say much less savory things. I've had men ask to touch me - ranging from simple 'can I have a hug' to 'can I grope you?'. I've had men ask for kisses*. I've had men ask me for 'a private show'. Hell, I have a signed piece of art from an American mangaka that says (and
nijawial, strych9chaitea, chocomimi and I believe jade_pen) can all attest to this: 'to the girl with the great tits'. Which yes, I find amusing on a level because she was so very sweet when we were speaking, but it still makes a very strong point. It's not even signed to my name, it's signed to my breasts. With the classic black dress, it got so bad I won't wear it anymore. I still wear the green because it has a nice shawl I can wrap around myself when not posing for pictures. And yes, I know there are some people who will think 'well, you have to expect it...'
Yes. I know it's to be expected. That doesn't make it right, and that doesn't make it okay. Sure, I love my body. I love my boobs when they're not hurting my back or getting in the way. And sure, I love getting compliments. Non-sexual ones - unless jokingly among friends, because I know where my friends are coming from. But that doesn't mean I love being objectified. Or that I should just sit down and shut up about it because I happened to wear something that showed cleavage.
I'm a hell of a lot more than a set of boobs.
And it is possible to compliment a woman in a perfectly non-sexual way. I remember last time I was down in Phoenix, we stopped off at Atomic Comics. I was in Lolita - my pirate print skirt and scoop ruffle blouse. And there was a guy around my age, in a suit and brief case, who had been looking at me while I was in there. He finally approached me and said, looking straight at my face and with nothing but sincere politeness 'I really like your outfit, it's very pretty'. He thought I was in cosplay, and I corrected him, and he apologized and repeated 'it's still very pretty'. And that was that. Despite obvious interest (as evidenced by him bringing his hand to his face and muttering 'man I really blew that' as I walked away) he still managed to be a perfect gentleman.
So I don't want to hear 'well it's impossible to compliment a woman without there being sexual/sexist connotations!'. That's bullshit. And it doesn't matter how the hell a woman is dressed.
I rambled a lot. And I don't even know if I made sense. I'm not good with words like this. Stories yes, essays no. I just...
Whatever happened to the old adage 'look but don't touch'?
________________________________
*I have kissed people at cons. But not random strangers. And certainly not random men who have been ogling my lady lumps.
