So low I don't know If I can come up at all

Well, after trying the first home remedy solution via tsunderes, I noted a lack of ants in the cabinet this morning. At least on the shelf they'd been on last night. We'll see.

I'm slowly retraining my sleep schedule. I woke up at 8:30 this morning, and I'm damn proud of myself.I used to be a morning person, many years ago. I'd like to recapture that - there's something magical about watching the morning stretch out across the world.

I am still dealing with that pain in the ass cold. I'm about ready to give up on that, too. My throat's so raw I sound like Dr. Girlfriend when I open my mouth - and doubly so, thank you New England accent.

I've identified why I've been having so much trouble writing lately. It's nothing more than crippling feelings of inadequacy, which grip me from time to time. While I don't doubt my own writing abilities (for the most part) I have this terrible habit of comparing them to the skills of others. Especially when reading, because...well...I think the train of thought is obvious there.

I haven't been writing because I've fallen into that pit of 'I am not as good a writer as I want to be' and it's a hard pit to pull oneself out of. It's been effecting my RP as well. Like most people, I stumble and fall in the face of 'I am not good enough'. And it takes me a bit to get back on my feet.

And it's all utterly ridiculous, I know, but there you have it. I'm also a woman who goes through irrational spats of being fully convinced that people don't like me simply due to not speaking for a time or only being spoken to for official things.

Hopefully I'll drag myself out of this soon. I miss writing.

He Was Walking The Mile, He Was Walking Alone

Argh, my room.

I've made some progress - I have a floor! Sort of - but it's really a pain in the ass. It's all I have left to do, too. Just one damn room that's as bad as every other room put together. And I hate letting it get that way, but...it's the bedroom. I don't spend much time there. So it gets neglected.

I'm also overcome with the intense desire to bake. This happens to me. I go through these phases where I just can't sit down. I have to be cleaning, cooking, sewing, whatever. And I'm in the grips of one now - probably because of how much trouble I'm having with everything else. It's seasonal and all that, but it's starting to get to me. I'm not really built to be going, going, going like the Energizer bunny. Not like this, anyway.

So I think I'm going to force myself to sit down for a bit and put Nija to the task of making sure I sit on my ass for a bit, because otherwise I'm going to overwork myself again and get sick. I can veg out until I need to get may laundry, at the very least.

And summoneddestiny and enigmablade are coming over in a bit, which is always fun!

I posted Sgt Venture's Lonely Hearts Club Band over at venture_fandom. I'm not sure what the reaction's going to be, since it's not really the typical Venture Bros fic. Less funny and more serious character introspection, but I'm pretty damn happy with it. I suppose we'll see.

Maybe I can manage another fic for 30_lemons....