Faye (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
said_scarlett) wrote2006-12-06 09:06 am
said_scarlett) wrote2006-12-06 09:06 am
Advent Fic #7!
Massive apologies for this going up late! I was sick last night and passed out around 10 or so. I hate being so sick in the cold months. :/
Title: Reason Doesn't Know
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theladyfeylene
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: Edward Elric/Riza Hawkeye
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Full series
Author's Note: AU
Written for:zannechaos
Summary: She was different than any other woman had ever met. There was something about her that he needed, that he wanted. He could only hope she realized that he wasn't a stupid kid anymore...
The gaping corridors and dull offices of Central Headquarters were exactly the same as they’d been almost a decade ago. The same stone, the same blue uniforms, the same echoing sound of footsteps. It was eerie, sometimes, even after so long back. Some things never changed.
She hadn’t changed either. Ed had noticed it before now, and would notice it again, but it always deserved mention. Even now, she was exactly as she had been all those years ago. Bent over a desk, the bare traces of a frown creasing down her lips. She was finishing the colonel’s - general’s, Ed reminded himself mentally - paperwork. The world had changed more than he could comprehend, but she remained the quiet, calm presence she always had. He liked that she hadn’t changed any. He hoped she never would.
She looked up, sensing Ed’s proximity. He hung in the doorway, just watching her. What did she think of him, he wondered. He could never tell. In ways, she was more difficult to read than Mustang ever had been. He’d changed. He’d changed in ways he couldn’t comprehend. Did she see it? Did she care? Or did she make a mental note of it and never think about it - or him - again until she saw him next?
Her eyes said nothing. She watched him calmly, her expression not changing from slight aggravation. It had been a few months since he’d been in Central, and he never stuck around for long. Too many memories, and not enough of them good. But he supposed that didn’t count for only Central.
“Is there something you need, Edward?”
It was an interesting question. Ed had spent a lifetime thinking about needs. There was always something. Always one more thing he needed. Sometimes he wondered if that was all life was, a series of needs to be met until there was nothing left. That didn’t sound like any kind of life worth living, though.
“Edward?”
He was taking too long lost in his own thoughts. Ed chuckled under his breath and shook his head. No, he wasn’t here about needs. There was nothing he needed. This was about what he wanted. The time for needs was gone, at least for a little while.
“No,” he said, quietly. “No, I don’t need anything.”
“The General isn’t in….”
“I know.” Ed leaned against the doorway. He’d already seen Mustang. She raised an eyebrow, the only sign of questioning she gave. He wondered if she had any inkling. Sometimes he felt like she did. She was a perceptive woman. But sometimes he felt as though she still thought of him as the same cocky kid he used to be, before everything had gone to hell. But even so…
She’d never tried to be his mother. Everyone else had, even Winry. It was as though they all saw this space in his life that needed filling. And they all tried to fill it. And maybe when he had been younger, he’d wanted that. Needed that. But not anymore, and they still tried. Winry still chided him to brush his hair, straighten his coat, keep better care of his automail… those things he’d appreciated in his youth were still appreciated, but in a different way now. And now he didn’t want a mother. He didn’t need a mother. He didn’t need anything, but he wanted.
The thing with wants, though, was that the thing you wanted never fell into your lap. It was the same with needs, in a way. A person could sit and want or need for years and never get the thing the were after. Equivalent exchange, in a way. Ed had learned that long ago.
But that didn’t make getting the thing you wanted any easier.
Maybe it would have been easier if he’d wanted the same things when he was younger. He was twenty six years old and he’d never had anything close to a relationship with a woman. There just hadn’t been the time or the desire. There had always been the opportunity - Ed wasn’t an idiot, and he wasn’t blind. But opportunity meant nothing without desire. Now… he had the desire, but was the opportunity there?
She gave no hint whatsoever. She was still watching him, one eyebrow raised, waiting for him to give some reason as to why he was there. There were a lot of things he could say. A dozen different things ran through his head, but none of them seemed like the right thing to say. Maybe because he had no experience with this. He had a vague idea that these things needed to be handled delicately.
But there was nothing delicate about Riza Hawkeye.
Ed had never been one for talking. Talking just wasted time. He’d lived his life doing. Why change now?
It was easier than he’d thought it would be. It was just a short walk, just a few steps forward. There wasn’t even a desk to try and maneuver himself around. There was just the distance between them and there was her, still sitting there and watching him. Her head was tilted up, just slightly to watch him. He didn’t have to do anything but cross the room and kiss her. It was so easy.
He wondered, as his lips touched hers, why he hadn’t done it before. Maybe because of Mustang. Maybe because he was scared - few things in this world scared him, but no man was without some fear. Maybe because he didn’t want to risk losing those few minutes of watching her. But Edward Elric had lost before, and he’d lose again, and at least he’d take something away from it.
She didn’t move. She didn’t kiss him back but she didn’t pull away. Her lips were soft. He knew his were chapped. She was warm. He reached up to cup her cheek and he knew the automail that touched her skin was cold. She didn’t flinch. His eyes were closed. He could feel her eyes boring into him.
And then it was over.
“Was that what you came here for?”
Ed shrugged, feeling sheepish and younger than he was. Her eyes were an eagle’s, appraising him, assessing him, taking his full measure. Was she looking at him as a man, or as the boy she’d known?
“Yeah,” he said, unable to think of anything else. “I probably should have asked you to dinner or something first….”
“It’s fine, Edward.” She shook her head, dismissing his vague and half-hearted apologies. He wasn’t sorry at all. Now what? She was watching him still, but her expression softened some. “I need to finish this up….”
“I understand.” Ed held up his hands, stopping her. She ignored him.
“If you don’t mind waiting, I haven’t eaten yet.”
Ed lowered his hands. Her expression hadn’t changed that much - he didn’t expect it to. Not for him, not so soon. But his did. He grinned, and he felt some of the weariness leave him.
“I don’t mind waiting,” he said, and he dropped into a chair to watch her while she finished. He’d already waited nearly ten years - a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
Besides, some things were worth the wait.
Title: Reason Doesn't Know
Author:
theladyfeyleneFandom: FMA
Pairing: Edward Elric/Riza Hawkeye
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Full series
Author's Note: AU
Written for:
zannechaosSummary: She was different than any other woman had ever met. There was something about her that he needed, that he wanted. He could only hope she realized that he wasn't a stupid kid anymore...
The gaping corridors and dull offices of Central Headquarters were exactly the same as they’d been almost a decade ago. The same stone, the same blue uniforms, the same echoing sound of footsteps. It was eerie, sometimes, even after so long back. Some things never changed.
She hadn’t changed either. Ed had noticed it before now, and would notice it again, but it always deserved mention. Even now, she was exactly as she had been all those years ago. Bent over a desk, the bare traces of a frown creasing down her lips. She was finishing the colonel’s - general’s, Ed reminded himself mentally - paperwork. The world had changed more than he could comprehend, but she remained the quiet, calm presence she always had. He liked that she hadn’t changed any. He hoped she never would.
She looked up, sensing Ed’s proximity. He hung in the doorway, just watching her. What did she think of him, he wondered. He could never tell. In ways, she was more difficult to read than Mustang ever had been. He’d changed. He’d changed in ways he couldn’t comprehend. Did she see it? Did she care? Or did she make a mental note of it and never think about it - or him - again until she saw him next?
Her eyes said nothing. She watched him calmly, her expression not changing from slight aggravation. It had been a few months since he’d been in Central, and he never stuck around for long. Too many memories, and not enough of them good. But he supposed that didn’t count for only Central.
“Is there something you need, Edward?”
It was an interesting question. Ed had spent a lifetime thinking about needs. There was always something. Always one more thing he needed. Sometimes he wondered if that was all life was, a series of needs to be met until there was nothing left. That didn’t sound like any kind of life worth living, though.
“Edward?”
He was taking too long lost in his own thoughts. Ed chuckled under his breath and shook his head. No, he wasn’t here about needs. There was nothing he needed. This was about what he wanted. The time for needs was gone, at least for a little while.
“No,” he said, quietly. “No, I don’t need anything.”
“The General isn’t in….”
“I know.” Ed leaned against the doorway. He’d already seen Mustang. She raised an eyebrow, the only sign of questioning she gave. He wondered if she had any inkling. Sometimes he felt like she did. She was a perceptive woman. But sometimes he felt as though she still thought of him as the same cocky kid he used to be, before everything had gone to hell. But even so…
She’d never tried to be his mother. Everyone else had, even Winry. It was as though they all saw this space in his life that needed filling. And they all tried to fill it. And maybe when he had been younger, he’d wanted that. Needed that. But not anymore, and they still tried. Winry still chided him to brush his hair, straighten his coat, keep better care of his automail… those things he’d appreciated in his youth were still appreciated, but in a different way now. And now he didn’t want a mother. He didn’t need a mother. He didn’t need anything, but he wanted.
The thing with wants, though, was that the thing you wanted never fell into your lap. It was the same with needs, in a way. A person could sit and want or need for years and never get the thing the were after. Equivalent exchange, in a way. Ed had learned that long ago.
But that didn’t make getting the thing you wanted any easier.
Maybe it would have been easier if he’d wanted the same things when he was younger. He was twenty six years old and he’d never had anything close to a relationship with a woman. There just hadn’t been the time or the desire. There had always been the opportunity - Ed wasn’t an idiot, and he wasn’t blind. But opportunity meant nothing without desire. Now… he had the desire, but was the opportunity there?
She gave no hint whatsoever. She was still watching him, one eyebrow raised, waiting for him to give some reason as to why he was there. There were a lot of things he could say. A dozen different things ran through his head, but none of them seemed like the right thing to say. Maybe because he had no experience with this. He had a vague idea that these things needed to be handled delicately.
But there was nothing delicate about Riza Hawkeye.
Ed had never been one for talking. Talking just wasted time. He’d lived his life doing. Why change now?
It was easier than he’d thought it would be. It was just a short walk, just a few steps forward. There wasn’t even a desk to try and maneuver himself around. There was just the distance between them and there was her, still sitting there and watching him. Her head was tilted up, just slightly to watch him. He didn’t have to do anything but cross the room and kiss her. It was so easy.
He wondered, as his lips touched hers, why he hadn’t done it before. Maybe because of Mustang. Maybe because he was scared - few things in this world scared him, but no man was without some fear. Maybe because he didn’t want to risk losing those few minutes of watching her. But Edward Elric had lost before, and he’d lose again, and at least he’d take something away from it.
She didn’t move. She didn’t kiss him back but she didn’t pull away. Her lips were soft. He knew his were chapped. She was warm. He reached up to cup her cheek and he knew the automail that touched her skin was cold. She didn’t flinch. His eyes were closed. He could feel her eyes boring into him.
And then it was over.
“Was that what you came here for?”
Ed shrugged, feeling sheepish and younger than he was. Her eyes were an eagle’s, appraising him, assessing him, taking his full measure. Was she looking at him as a man, or as the boy she’d known?
“Yeah,” he said, unable to think of anything else. “I probably should have asked you to dinner or something first….”
“It’s fine, Edward.” She shook her head, dismissing his vague and half-hearted apologies. He wasn’t sorry at all. Now what? She was watching him still, but her expression softened some. “I need to finish this up….”
“I understand.” Ed held up his hands, stopping her. She ignored him.
“If you don’t mind waiting, I haven’t eaten yet.”
Ed lowered his hands. Her expression hadn’t changed that much - he didn’t expect it to. Not for him, not so soon. But his did. He grinned, and he felt some of the weariness leave him.
“I don’t mind waiting,” he said, and he dropped into a chair to watch her while she finished. He’d already waited nearly ten years - a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
Besides, some things were worth the wait.
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I love the way you wrote it. Ed's hard-headedness and stubborn streak show up just in time for him to make the first move. (About time it did him a favor!!) ^__^
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And I really like the point on mothering and how even Winry tries to do that, and the line drawn between want and need and oh. Everything.
And now I have "Show Me" from My Fair Lady playing in my head. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for this a million times over. *___*
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Thank you! The point on mothering was such a big one, but I didn't want to beat people over the head with it. And it's true - Riza is the only woman in Ed's life that hasn't tried to take care of him. And I think that really struck a chord with him.
Heee! You are more than welcome! I'm just so glad you enjoyed!
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And oh, I do so love this. *_* I need to remember to edit my rec list with this. *_*
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Oooh, this was beautiful! I loved the way Ed was acting before he kissed her, while Riza was unaware, and then Riza's reaction and the mention of waiting ten years, because I can certainly see Edward wondering and deliberating on doing something like that for a long time before actually doing it.
Loved it! *mems*
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Thank you so much! This was a somewhat daunting pairing for me to write, but I was really happy to have the challenge. And I'm so glad everyone's actions come across as IC! Thank you so much for the feedback!
*squees*
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