said_scarlett | (no subject)

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Tabatha's Salon Takeover

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Still not dead, just been crazy busy! And not with anything exciting, unless you consider medical crap, therapy crap and home remodeling to be exciting. And in my downtime I've been enjoying playing the original Fallout, because I found it for the Mac and I really miss the first two. I totally failed on character creation though, so I've ended up with a dude named None. I find this somewhat hilarious.

Mostly I've just been focusing on moving on to a new, healthy stage of my life. And a part of that is getting rid of a lot of stuff. Out with the old, in with the new, all of that.

I have been having a lot of trouble writing any sort of fiction, but I'm trying not to stress about it. I'm still me, my creativity isn't gone, I'm just in an adjustment period and I'm sure everything will smooth out. And in the meantime I've been exploring the wide world of lyrics writing! Mainly because I don't do the poetry thing, and I'm supposed to be writing expressive poems as part of my therapy.

Netflix keeps taking things I plan on watching off of direct streaming. :/ I want to watch Karas: The Prophecy mainly because 1) beautiful animation 2) Mathew Lillard. But they've only got part one up, and from what I understand, without part two it may as well be a very pretty acid trip. Netflix has a pretty damn good anime selection, but their anime horror (as loosely defined as that genre is, they've got Trinity Blood listed as horror) is sadly lacking. :/

Oh, went to see The Rite over the weekend! Very, very good movie. The casting was wonderful, the pacing was beautiful, and the film managed to scare and disturb without using overt and obvious visuals. I really, really liked that. Plus, they clearly did their research on Catholic exorcism. I was pleased and impressed. And caught the trailer for Suckerpunch which I need to see. Also want to see Red Riding Hood, though I have to say that visually the commercials all make me think of The Village. Or Sleepy Hollow. Both movies I quite like!

The internet seems like such a strange and disorienting place to me these days. I think about it too much. Not what happens on the internet, but just the internet itself. What we're able to do with it, the applications, the ability to reach anywhere in the world at any time with devices that fit into the palm of our hand, the entire spectrum of humanity splashed daily across this technically non-existent continent from the very best to the very worst....

Does anyone else ever just sit and think about it and feel terribly overwhelmed and frightened? Every few days I find myself waking up and realizing 'I live in the future. The future is now'. Things that existed only in the wildest imagination when I was a child are now commonplace and taken for granted. It's amazing and terrifying and it's all happened so fast. Sometimes I think of the technological revolution as a speeding train without breaks....

Ah well, that's about it, as far as I can think. Now I've got to give Sheila her meds since she had surgery last week and still needs to be tranquilized so she doesn't rip out her stitches. At least she doesn't have to wear her stupid clown cone anymore.... (And she weighs 5.3 pounds of muscle already at seven months! Not as little a kitty as I was expecting when she was a tiny baby!)

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HI YOU ♥ ♥ ♥

HI YOU TOO! *hugs* I've been thinking of you a lot lately. Especially right now, because the Tabatha's Salon Takeover on right now is the one where she went to Avanti on Newbury St.

Hah I was actually just watching that one the day before yesterday and thinking of you!

I HAVE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSED YOU

Bwahahahaha! Did you ever go there? I went once when this stylist friend of mine from the pet place worked there briefly. IT WAS NOT LIKE THAT TEN YEARS AGO!

I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOO! We need to figure out a good time for phone talkies, dude. It has been too long.

I don't...think I ever did? I'm sure I walked past it a zillion times, but the only things I remember doing on the ritzier end of Newbury was getting that henna tattoo that one time and buying my prom dress. Was it nicer back in the day or even worse?

AHHHH MORE MOTIVATION FOR ME TO GET OFF MY ASS AND SET UP SKYPE. SOON SOON SOON <3

I know we went by it all the time, but...yeah. It was nicer, but not really good. Definitely not high end for the area, and I felt that if I had been paying for my service I would have been overcharged, but she did me for free so whatever. :D

YES! YOU MUST DO THIS! And I swear, when we've got a chunk of time, I am making

husband_brother drive me to the east coast. Nearly ten years is far too long to go without seeing a best friend. :/

I am getting really overwhelmed by technology nowadays, too. I only just moved to a Blackberry, but all my friends are always babbling about the newest iPhone app. @___@; Overstimulation to the max!

That being said, don't push yourself to write. I haven't written in years, but sometimes I do write drabbles when I'm in the mood. I'm usually very proud of them, because they have a lot of thought/emotion/thinking behind them.

I'm very glad I'm not alone. I have a very old phone that makes calls, texts, and can take maybe 10 crappy pictures. I don't comprehend these new phones. I can't even tell what's a phone and what's just...a little thingy that can do all kinds of stuff. But I see commercials and find myself going '...this is the stuff they had in sci-fi shows when I was growing up, wtf?!?!'. I guess it's partly just the fact that these things exist in my lifetime, and not near the end of it like I would have expected.

I'm trying not to, and not stress about it. It's just a bit frustrating to go into my mind and have this weird emptiness in parts of it. And there's the persistent nervousness that all the awesome creativity in there is linked directly to my psychosis and the anti-psychotics have taken it away. But I try and chalk that up to just a fear of so many things I've heard - if I'm writing lyrics and poetry, obviously the writing bits of my brain are fine and I just need more time for my brain to adjust to it's new chemical makeup.

Hahaha they're actually not very hard to learn (they make them sort of idiot-proof) but they do cost a lot and eat up a lot of time because people get addicted to games, surfing the web, etc. I still prefer an old-fashioned book and stuff.

I figured out early on that I'm most creative when I'm stressed, and to be honest, I'd rather not be stressed so I don't push it lol. Best of luck though! Hopefully it will come back; creativity is not really predictable lol.

Yeah, I barely have time for regular internet on the computer, let alone...everything that these little devices can do! That's another thing that scares and sort of bothers me: dependency on technology. So many people nowadays just don't have to do things for themselves. There are machines to do everything. For twenty bucks I can get a robot that will essentially cook food for me, or vacuum, or clean the cat box. I know people who freak the hell out if they're away from an internet access device for a single day. Hell, you don't even have to bother with books if you don't want to!

See, that's what sticks with me! Creativity is so intricately linked to brain chemistry and moods and whatnot that the little fear persists. Thank you! It'd be nice to be able to answer inquiries with 'yes, I can submit a piece to you!' rather than 'circumstances are currently preventing me from producing new material, very sorry'. Also...I could seriously use the cash!

I've clearly been off LJ too long. Saw this post and went Who the heck is this? before I realized you changed your LJ name! *tackles you* Hope you're doing well! <3

I was wondering where you were! I'm cool now, had a really bad patch, found out I'm legally psychotic...or was, now I'm on Thorazine. :D

I fell off the earth for a year or two. >.> Woe, Fey *glomps you* I'm glad you're having a better time of it now. I've missed you! I came back and everyone'd left LJ, lol. It was very strange.

Is okay, I fell off it for about half a year. It happens. *hugs* It's all cool now, for the most part, so yay. :D I KNOW! It's so weird.

!!!!!! The kitty in your icon looks like my kitten! But with much brighter eyes!

It's a Fey, and she's alive. It's Cryssy btw, in case you're wondering.

Glad to see you're still trucking! I was worried when you kinda dropped off the face of the planet.

YOU! *glomps* I was just thinking about you yesterday!

Yeah, I'm back from whacky paranoid psychosis land. :D And doing much, much better. I'm really glad to hear from you.

Huzzah! I was trying to go back through your journal to see what I missed, but there are so many holes and you need to fill me in! I am glad you are doing better though. I was praying in my own little ways that you would get through it.

So yeah, I will be in AZ March 2-12. Any chance you might be able to either get down to Phx? I am trying to work out transportation while I am there, but I am not sure if I will be able to get my happy ass up there. Ashley's daughter is only going to be 3 weeks old by then, so I would hate to get her sick or anything by going all over the place.

Yeah, I didn't post too much in my LJ, but really all it comes down to is I had a psychotic break due to paranoid psychosis and needed the kind of treatment you don't get as an out-patient. Now I can has thorazine.

I might! Depending on my house sitting schedule, Danni's work schedule and gas money. But I don't think I'm house sitting until closer to March 20th. I'll talk to Danni and do my damn best to get my ass down there!

Oh man, I can't even begin to imagine what you went through. I had psychosis back in 2006, but it was because of the meds (steroids), so I went off those, and no more crazy. I am not sure what thorazine is/does, but it sounds like it's a good thing!

It would be so awesome if you guys could come down while I am there! You should know that I got back into photography, and I decided to go back to school to finish my degree in it, so I can has professionalism! So yeah, the more for my portfolio the better. I miss our photo shoots. And I miss you too! And I would like to meet Danni, so please to be getting your ass down to Phoenix! Oh and, Ashley had her babeh. Remember when we didn't think that would ever happen? Times have changed Fey, I think we all grew up.

-sighs- /endramble

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