An Excitable Boy, They All Said...

[said_scarlett]

If I hear the term 'differently abled' one more time, I am going to scream. No, really. We're disabled. It's not a bad word. It's not a dirty word. It's not an insulting word. 'Differently abled' is... man, I could spend hours dissecting all the things wrong with this term. But so many others have done such a better job of explaining why so many of us cringe and froth at the mouth over it. I tend to just descend into a fit of 'for fuck's sake, if you're so damn concerned with making it sound like we're the same as everyone else - WHICH WE AREN'T! - maybe you shouldn't put such an emphasis on different!'. Because we're not just like everyone else. We have limitations 'abled' people don't have. This isn't some awful, deep dark secret that shouldn't be addressed. It's just how we are and pussyfooting around it and making it out to be some awful thing is insulting. There's a large list of things I can't do. This is not because I'm 'differently abled'. 'Differently abled' implies that I have some sort of ability or ableness not possessed by abled people. I'm disabled. And damn proud of it.

Though I'll give 'differently abled' this: I guess it's a small bit better than the ever-loathsome 'handi-capable'.

(This rant brought to you by a post in one of my disability forums about Toys'R'Us's guide to 'Toys for Differently Abled Children'. Oh, the snark is beautiful.)

Anyway!

Oh, the harmonic stirrings of new love! Is there anything greater? The childlike glee with which you tear through fic archives, the wide-eyed joy as you comb fan art sites, the anticipation as you click through LJ comms... And then, that feverish, red lit fervor as new ideas pour forth from mind and fingers and you give birth to your own fannish contributions! Which of course you're too nervous to post, because there is also nothing more terrifying than a new fandom.

I've been PMSing since Sunday, and I want it over and done with. I'm going to be cleaning and sewing today.

Comments

[speaky-bean.livejournal.com]

You know, the only times I've ever heard that phrase used, it was as a joke. You're right, it makes no sense semantically, and it seems kind of condescending. I'm not disabled, and I think a lot of people who aren't are really afraid of offending people who are when they discuss the topic--they DON'T know what it's like, and they don't want to come across as being insensitive jersk, but they go overboard. I dunno, with the people I know who have any kind of physical or mental disorder or disability, I don't even remember half the time when I'm talking to them that they do, unless they bring it up or it's really obvious that day, so this isn't so much of an issue for me--but some people really focus on it. And the phrase 'handi-capable' is awful. It's like calling a retarded child 'special' which honestly sounds more like mockery than anything genuine.

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I remember I always thought it was just a joke, and then I encountered it used seriously. I honestly do not know a single disabled person who thinks it's a good term. Because it does come across as condescending and insulting. I totally get people not wanting to offend, but the overcompensation sort of bugs me. Handicapped is a fine word. Disabled is fine, too. As long as you're not calling us crips or something. Argh, don't get me started on 'handi-capable'!

[attilatehbun.livejournal.com]

you're not calling us crips or something

Lol, but then you could start wearing blue (?) and having 'wars' with people and whatnot. You could vent all your anger with handguns, wheee! ;)

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

I'd be the worst gang member ever. Seriously. besides, it only pays minimum wage. ;)

[dame_grise]

When I was in college--my college was a big award-winning campus from the 1960's for wheelchair access (i.e., from before it was a requirement)--we had a high number of wheelchair bound students. The accepted term by them and the rest of us was "wheelies." It was okay, because most everyone agreed to it, and it only convered a small group of disabled people.

I miss college.

[florahart]

I have watched a person of, um, less than typical abilities (how's that?) go OFF on someone for using disabled (in a training on being sensitive in the workplace), and insist on differently-abled for the duration of the training.

*sigh*

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

Oh geeze. I've never understood the people who have a problem with disabled. It's a perfectly non-offensive term. It just goes to show you can't please everyone.

[speaky-bean.livejournal.com]

I just realized what the title of this entry is, and I kind of love you. That song is amazing. XD;

It can be difficult to figure out what's appropriate and what's not, especially if you've had your head bitten off before--but it's really easy to go overboard. I have this friend who had a brain tumor when she was young, and recently she showed me some pictures of the tumor. She seemed really excited about it. It had dots on it that looked like a smiley face, and she uses it as one of her LJ icons. Clearly, she was proud of the thing. My first impulse was to say it was awesome, because it looked awesome, and she was so happy about the pictures...but I did question whether or not that was an okay response. I decided in the end that I should go with my impulse, since I knew this girl and I knew that was what she wanted from me. But, it was confusing. It's like any aspect of social interaction, really, it's hard to know how to act with what person so you don't look like an idiot.

[hiddenhibiscus.livejournal.com]

Oh, the harmonic stirrings of new love! Is there anything greater? The childlike glee with which you tear through fic archives, the wide-eyed joy as you comb fan art sites, the anticipation as you click through LJ comms... And then, that feverish, red lit fervor as new ideas pour forth from mind and fingers and you give birth to your own fannish contributions! Which of course you're too nervous to post, because there is also nothing more terrifying than a new fandom. My favorite thing I've read all day! Heee

New fandom?

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

Indeed! I have finally been won over by the wooing of the Silent Hill fandom.

[hiddenhibiscus.livejournal.com]

I just loved reading about your enthusiasm, it's like a new crush!

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what it is! I get that same excited, fluttery feeling when it comes to fandoms.

I'm such a dork. :D

[hiddenhibiscus.livejournal.com]

You and me both ;)

[attilatehbun.livejournal.com]

Handi-capable...that - that's just horrid. Urg.

What's the badness level of the guide? I can only imagine...

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!

it's...loltastic. And sort of insulting, but mostly loltastic.

[dame_grise]

BTW, I've been meaning to ask, though perhaps I should email for more details, do you actually have diagnoses of disabilities? I know you didn't get the "disabled" label from the US gov, but I'm struggling with getting a doctor to answer my plain questions of what conditions/problems/illnesses/etc are considered disabilities, even if a person isn't completely disabled by the terms of the US gov. This matters in my employment searching because some of them may enable me to ask for some accomodations with certain kinds of jobs to broaden the kinds of work I can find.

I have a hell of a lot of conditions and problems, but the only true def. diagnoses I have are fibromyalgia, TMJ and dysthimia (which I'm probably spelling wrong. I can't even pronounce it.) They're all invisible problems, but cause me a great deal of pain most days. The only reason I apparently am not disabled is that none of them are problems 100% of the time, though on any given day, at least one of them is causing some kind of problem.

Do you understand the question I was asking? I may have to pester the local support service again soon, because no one will hire me for regular work. I'm lucky I can work for Pearson at least sometimes.

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

Technically I am disabled as far as the government is concerned, which is what pisses me off the most. They concede that yes, I am indeed disabled, but it's an issue with how much I've paid into social security that makes me ineligible for disability aide, so even though they agree I'm disabled, they won't give me any documentation or help. Oh, US government...

And I have had trouble with getting certifications of disability through the medical field and the like, mainly for the same reason as you. My problems aren't all the time, constant problems. Essentially, a disability is any condition that restricts a person in everyday life. Most places of work can accommodate, but without outside pushing they usually won't. Usually if there are local groups they can send a representative to kind of pave the way for you. I've never had any luck with that because of the isolated area I live in, but I know lots of folks who've been able to get employed through those methods.

There are also groups online devoted to getting the disabled into the work force, and have lists of disability friendly companies, work at home opportunities and other helpful resources. Lemme dig up some links for you!

[dame_grise]

I appreciate that. I simply can't do the work I was trained for anymore, and most low-end jobs now involve hours of standing and walking or bending which I can't do. I've only recently had to give up on walking in grocery stores if it's a long visit. That's the most humiliating thing, but when I end up clinging to the cart dizzy and in severe back pain otherwise, I haven't any other choice.

[theladyfeylene.livejournal.com]

It's no problem at all. Where are you located, statewise? Jobs...argh. I have the same problem. I got lucky for a little while, working for my sister, but since then I haven't been able to find anyone who will hire me. :/

I use a scooter when I'm going to be out and about for long periods of time, and it's made a massive difference.

[dame_grise]

Northern Illinois.

I try to walk as much as I can, but I have given up on large stores. If they provide a scooter, and I'm going to be there longer than 15 mins, I suck up my pride and use one. I feel as if I can start walking unburded in the neighborhood again a bit at a time, I'll get that back. I'm just nervous I won't. With the fibro you can only push so hard before you lay yourself up for days afterwards.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

"Handi-capable"???? *yuck* That sounds like the time I heard someone old referred to as "chronologically endowed."


Also, mad props to you for the Warren Zevon quote. He was the best....