Faye (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
said_scarlett) wrote2007-12-05 12:53 pm
said_scarlett) wrote2007-12-05 12:53 pm
Entry tags:
Advent Fic #5: A Memory of Potential
Title: A Memory Of Potential
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Hughes
Rating: PG-13
Written For:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
burningvigor!
Spoilers: N/A
Summary: Hughes was too young to be thinking an old man's thoughts. But when the cold came creeping in colder than the year before, the mind tended to wander....
Snow fell. It covered the streets of Central, white and clean and picturesque. By morning it would be gray and trampled and cursed by pedestrians and drivers alike. But for now, in the darkening evening, it was a scene out of a storybook.
Maes Hughes sat with his feet up on his desk, hands folded as he watched the snow fall. The older he got, the more he hated the cold season. It brought aches and pains and twinges along with it. It brought long nights where even a dozen blankets and Gracia’s warmth didn’t keep out the chill.
That was time. It gave and it took - a life well lived in exchange for the gifts of age and failing limbs and a hundred wonderings of what could have been. What could have been different? What if? These were the thoughts the mind turned to, as the decades fell behind.
“Damn it all, I’m getting old.”
“And demented, if you’re talking to yourself.”
Hughes looked up, startled. He’d been lost in his own thoughts, not paying attention to anything immediately around him. Not the smartest move, but it was late and cold and quiet.
“Sometimes I’m the only one who’ll listen.” He dragged his feet off his desk and sat up properly. “Surprised you’re still here, Roy, figured you’d take off at the first sign of bad weather.”
Roy shrugged, standing just within the doorway. He didn’t look as though the cold bothered him. But Hughes would bet it did. A little pain here, a little stiffness there…
The cold was no friend to men over thirty.
“Hardly anyone’s still around,” Hughes went on, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. “It looks like it’ll be a hell of a storm by tonight.”
“It was a wet autumn.”
“Is this what we’re reduced to?” Hughes lifted an eyebrow. “Hanging around talking about the weather?”
“Apparently so.” But Roy cracked a small smile.
“How’s whatsherface? The one from the printer’s shop?” When all else failed, Hughes just asked about whatever woman Roy had last been seen with.
“Fine.”
“They’re always fine. You’re getting old too, you know. Better settle down before it’s too late.”
“Don’t.” Roy shook his head. “I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re never in the mood.” Hughes watched Roy carefully, noting how the other man was looking out the window and not at him, and the way he stood with his body angled slightly away. Defensive. Oh. He was in that mood.
It had been years since there had been anything between them. Anything other than friendship, at least. It just… hadn’t worked out. There were probably a dozen reasons, but they’d just grown apart. It happened. It wasn’t the end of the world. Relationships changed. Friends became lovers, lovers became friends… humans were ever-changing creatures. Their relationships changed with them.
But even though it had ended - amicably, as far as Hughes could ever tell - it was always between them.
“Wanna come over for dinner?” Hughes offered. “I have it on very good authority that we’re having turkey pot pie. A hot meal, some company… do you good.”
“Maybe.”
“Better than reheated leftovers alone in your apartment.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my social life.”
“I’m not saying there is. I’m inviting you over for dinner. You’re my friend. I like your company - when you’re not being a pissy bastard - and my family likes your company. And you like good food. So everyone wins.”
“I’m not being ‘pissy’.”
“You are. You do this.” Hughes wasn’t one to avoid a situation, unlike his rather curt best friend.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re wandering in here all mopey and defensive. You’re getting snippy. And you know I can pick up on it, so I’m wondering what the hell you’re hoping to accomplish.”
“Nothing. I don’t know.” Roy waved his hand, dark eyes narrowing. “Why do you assume I’m attempting to ‘accomplish’ anything?”
“It’s my suspicious nature.” He smiled and stood up, moving to look out the window. “But joking aside - we’re people, Roy. We do things for a reason. We do something for a result. There’s no such thing as a pointless action.”
“I’d beg to differ.” Roy joined him at the window, both of them standing together and watching as the snow piled up outside. Neither one of them spoke for a great deal of time, just standing together in companionable silence. Hughes knew they both felt the weight of what stretched between them, but it was something that couldn’t be put into words. Or shouldn’t be. Words cheapened things.
But Hughes was still compelled to speak, as they stood and watched the whitening world.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Add maudlin tendencies to dementia,” Roy responded, dryly.
“Oh come on. There’s nothing wrong with saying it now and again.”
“If you’re a woman or a small child.” A teasing note, there.
“Indulge me, will you? I love you, and you’re the best damn friend a guy could have. I don’t care if I’m sounding sentimental.
“You don’t need to tell me these things.” Roy turned to him, his expression closed.
“I don’t need to do a lot of things. But I want to do them.”
“And what are you trying to accomplish?”
“Throwing my words back at me. That’s low, Roy.”
“When confronted with un-solicited outpourings of affection, I believe it can be excused.”
“Fine, fine. But I‘m not doing anything. I just…you know.” Hughes punched Roy affectionately on the arm. “So are you coming over for dinner or not?”
“I may as well.” Roy shrugged. “I’ve nothing pressing to attend to this evening.”
“No hot date?”
“No date.” He shook his head.
“We better get going, then. We don’t head out soon, we’ll be stuck overnight. Radio said the snow’ll last until tomorrow afternoon.”
“A bit of snow won’t keep me anywhere,” Roy pointed out.
“Well we can’t all just melt ourselves a path.” Hughes grabbed his coat, laughing.
“A pity.”
“Quiet, you like being special and you know it.” The heavy moment had passed, leaving behind the normal calm ties that always remained. Light banter, teasing, unspoken kinship. Some things would never change, regardless of how their relationship evolved or devolved. It was just human nature.
“Should I bring something?”
“For dinner?” Hughes shrugged. “Nah. I think Gracia would be insulted.”
“Even a bottle of wine?”
“We’re not stopping for wine. You don’t need to bring enough. Your charming self is enough.”
“Are you certain your wife agrees?”
“Gracia loves you. So does Elysia. We all do.” He clapped Roy on the shoulder, and the other man moved into the touch. There was still something there. Even after all this time, there was still something there. He could feel it. And he knew Roy could feel it. Feel everything they’d been to each other, everything they were, everything they could be. One touch, one small surge of emotion and want. A million what-ifs, spiraling out from a simple gesture of affection. Those damn what ifs.
Maybe they were just another gift of time. Held in different lights, what were ‘what ifs’ but memories that never happened?
Hughes squeezed Roy’s shoulder then dropped his hand, turning away quickly.
“Come on,” he said, gruffly. “Gracia will be worried if I’m late.”
“Of course.”
And that was that. Maybe there’d be a day for those ’what ifs’. Someday.
But not today.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Hughes
Rating: PG-13
Written For:
burningvigor!Spoilers: N/A
Summary: Hughes was too young to be thinking an old man's thoughts. But when the cold came creeping in colder than the year before, the mind tended to wander....
Snow fell. It covered the streets of Central, white and clean and picturesque. By morning it would be gray and trampled and cursed by pedestrians and drivers alike. But for now, in the darkening evening, it was a scene out of a storybook.
Maes Hughes sat with his feet up on his desk, hands folded as he watched the snow fall. The older he got, the more he hated the cold season. It brought aches and pains and twinges along with it. It brought long nights where even a dozen blankets and Gracia’s warmth didn’t keep out the chill.
That was time. It gave and it took - a life well lived in exchange for the gifts of age and failing limbs and a hundred wonderings of what could have been. What could have been different? What if? These were the thoughts the mind turned to, as the decades fell behind.
“Damn it all, I’m getting old.”
“And demented, if you’re talking to yourself.”
Hughes looked up, startled. He’d been lost in his own thoughts, not paying attention to anything immediately around him. Not the smartest move, but it was late and cold and quiet.
“Sometimes I’m the only one who’ll listen.” He dragged his feet off his desk and sat up properly. “Surprised you’re still here, Roy, figured you’d take off at the first sign of bad weather.”
Roy shrugged, standing just within the doorway. He didn’t look as though the cold bothered him. But Hughes would bet it did. A little pain here, a little stiffness there…
The cold was no friend to men over thirty.
“Hardly anyone’s still around,” Hughes went on, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. “It looks like it’ll be a hell of a storm by tonight.”
“It was a wet autumn.”
“Is this what we’re reduced to?” Hughes lifted an eyebrow. “Hanging around talking about the weather?”
“Apparently so.” But Roy cracked a small smile.
“How’s whatsherface? The one from the printer’s shop?” When all else failed, Hughes just asked about whatever woman Roy had last been seen with.
“Fine.”
“They’re always fine. You’re getting old too, you know. Better settle down before it’s too late.”
“Don’t.” Roy shook his head. “I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re never in the mood.” Hughes watched Roy carefully, noting how the other man was looking out the window and not at him, and the way he stood with his body angled slightly away. Defensive. Oh. He was in that mood.
It had been years since there had been anything between them. Anything other than friendship, at least. It just… hadn’t worked out. There were probably a dozen reasons, but they’d just grown apart. It happened. It wasn’t the end of the world. Relationships changed. Friends became lovers, lovers became friends… humans were ever-changing creatures. Their relationships changed with them.
But even though it had ended - amicably, as far as Hughes could ever tell - it was always between them.
“Wanna come over for dinner?” Hughes offered. “I have it on very good authority that we’re having turkey pot pie. A hot meal, some company… do you good.”
“Maybe.”
“Better than reheated leftovers alone in your apartment.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my social life.”
“I’m not saying there is. I’m inviting you over for dinner. You’re my friend. I like your company - when you’re not being a pissy bastard - and my family likes your company. And you like good food. So everyone wins.”
“I’m not being ‘pissy’.”
“You are. You do this.” Hughes wasn’t one to avoid a situation, unlike his rather curt best friend.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re wandering in here all mopey and defensive. You’re getting snippy. And you know I can pick up on it, so I’m wondering what the hell you’re hoping to accomplish.”
“Nothing. I don’t know.” Roy waved his hand, dark eyes narrowing. “Why do you assume I’m attempting to ‘accomplish’ anything?”
“It’s my suspicious nature.” He smiled and stood up, moving to look out the window. “But joking aside - we’re people, Roy. We do things for a reason. We do something for a result. There’s no such thing as a pointless action.”
“I’d beg to differ.” Roy joined him at the window, both of them standing together and watching as the snow piled up outside. Neither one of them spoke for a great deal of time, just standing together in companionable silence. Hughes knew they both felt the weight of what stretched between them, but it was something that couldn’t be put into words. Or shouldn’t be. Words cheapened things.
But Hughes was still compelled to speak, as they stood and watched the whitening world.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Add maudlin tendencies to dementia,” Roy responded, dryly.
“Oh come on. There’s nothing wrong with saying it now and again.”
“If you’re a woman or a small child.” A teasing note, there.
“Indulge me, will you? I love you, and you’re the best damn friend a guy could have. I don’t care if I’m sounding sentimental.
“You don’t need to tell me these things.” Roy turned to him, his expression closed.
“I don’t need to do a lot of things. But I want to do them.”
“And what are you trying to accomplish?”
“Throwing my words back at me. That’s low, Roy.”
“When confronted with un-solicited outpourings of affection, I believe it can be excused.”
“Fine, fine. But I‘m not doing anything. I just…you know.” Hughes punched Roy affectionately on the arm. “So are you coming over for dinner or not?”
“I may as well.” Roy shrugged. “I’ve nothing pressing to attend to this evening.”
“No hot date?”
“No date.” He shook his head.
“We better get going, then. We don’t head out soon, we’ll be stuck overnight. Radio said the snow’ll last until tomorrow afternoon.”
“A bit of snow won’t keep me anywhere,” Roy pointed out.
“Well we can’t all just melt ourselves a path.” Hughes grabbed his coat, laughing.
“A pity.”
“Quiet, you like being special and you know it.” The heavy moment had passed, leaving behind the normal calm ties that always remained. Light banter, teasing, unspoken kinship. Some things would never change, regardless of how their relationship evolved or devolved. It was just human nature.
“Should I bring something?”
“For dinner?” Hughes shrugged. “Nah. I think Gracia would be insulted.”
“Even a bottle of wine?”
“We’re not stopping for wine. You don’t need to bring enough. Your charming self is enough.”
“Are you certain your wife agrees?”
“Gracia loves you. So does Elysia. We all do.” He clapped Roy on the shoulder, and the other man moved into the touch. There was still something there. Even after all this time, there was still something there. He could feel it. And he knew Roy could feel it. Feel everything they’d been to each other, everything they were, everything they could be. One touch, one small surge of emotion and want. A million what-ifs, spiraling out from a simple gesture of affection. Those damn what ifs.
Maybe they were just another gift of time. Held in different lights, what were ‘what ifs’ but memories that never happened?
Hughes squeezed Roy’s shoulder then dropped his hand, turning away quickly.
“Come on,” he said, gruffly. “Gracia will be worried if I’m late.”
“Of course.”
And that was that. Maybe there’d be a day for those ’what ifs’. Someday.
But not today.
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Roy was so damn mopey and dry in this (which is a good thing, of course), and it's great how Hughes can just tell that he's dropped in because he's looking for something, even if he doesn't know what - or at least knows he can't have it.
The line about 'memories that never happened' was really bittersweet, and overall, the fic just rocked. Hughes and Roy~ makes me long for them to have more moments in Damned. Thanks so much for writing!
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I just love their relationship, and all the little intricecies, and I'm so glad they came through here.
Huzzah! Gah, yeah, me too! YOU ARE WELCOME!
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